Yesterday Rob left for another business trip on an overnight sleeper and will get home Friday morning. I was really, really worn out, and his leaving was really hard. As much as I prayed and worked to stay on top of things, I finally sent the kids to bed early and retreated to my bedroom. I did a little Chinese study and then watched a movie. I went to bed still choking in my frustrations.
Emails to and from dear friends helped, and this morning I read Alma 6 about establishing order in the church. They wrote off the prideful and welcomed the repentant. Then they sought to preach the Gospel to ALL and prayed continually for those who knew not God. As I read I wondered in awe at God’s ability to order His church for our best growth. And I also wondered if that pattern could apply to how I bring order to those desires I was nurturing in my life.
It did. I found great relief in weeding out desires currently based on pride and welcoming in desires that met my goals to best serve my family and not run faster than was needful (Mosiah 4:27). I can still pray for the right opportunity to meet the desires that had previously been based on pride. The main activity I weeded was a simple activity really, but one that, given my current situation, can only be met if I put pride first. Right now prayer really is the best way to meet the need I was pridefully trying to meet at the wrong time and in the wrong way. And God answered another prayer, that of easing my burden even in the midst of other struggles we are facing as a family (Mosiah 24:13-15 and hopefully soon 16).
Sigh. Such a sweet miraculous peace that comes from a truly wonderful and loving Father in Heaven. If you have desires that need weeding and feel so inspired, try following the pattern found in Alma 6!