A Great question of Necessity

When does a luxury legitimately (i.e. in God's eyes) become a necessity?

When does buying clothes, electronics, or taking a trip or time and money for leisure cross this line?

How do we know when something is an extravagance or something that just gives us breathing room to keep going when life is otherwise all about holding your breath and just hanging on?

How can we possibly answer these questions for other people?

~vbb

Got Needs?

Why is it that when you ask some people for help (and even offering to pay them for that help), they think you want a lecture on how to avoid needing their help?

Maybe what they’re really saying is that they really need some help but don’t know how to ask for it nor even what it is they really need.

When a person has a need (internally or externally created) for help from someone, they have amazing ways of communicating that need if we really listen. 

… And sometimes they just tell you the boring way, with words.

~vbb

Tossing Stones

 Hmmmmm . . .

Do I have enough?

...OK, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little. =]

~vbb

. . . AND pressing on

In case anyone else is having trouble pressing on as I have, here's a few thoughts from my journal yesterday that might help.

I feel numb with frustration. I feel so stuck here right now… more humility is needed I suppose. I feel like I’m praying for the wrong thing. There are so many aspects of every situation. I don’t think God wants solutions to be easy. He wants us to understand the depth and nuances within each situation. Sometimes recording the details of events is so overwhelmingly tedious. I tire of facing those details each day, and I dread the discipline of rehashing them here.

            OK, and coming to church should help too.... [I was traveling to church by subway while writing this. The rest I wrote that night at home.]

            It did. Well, the opening song at Seminary Graduation finally put me over the top. Sometimes you’re just so miserable that everything just looks grey and you feel so numb and caught up in an unending cycle of hurt and confusion and frustration. That’s when you just hold on and pray until the light and the peace come. For some reason that came to me today through the hymn “Let Us All Press On” as the opening song in the graduation ceremonies. 

Let Us All Press On

1.               Let us all press on in the work of the Lord, That when life is o'er we may gain a reward; In the fight for right let us wield a sword, The mighty sword of truth.

[Chorus] Fear not, though the enemy deride; Courage, for the Lord is on our side. We will heed not what the wicked may say, But the Lord alone we will obey.

2.       We will not retreat, though our numbers may be few When compared with the opposite host in view; But an unseen pow'r will aid me and you In the glorious cause of truth.

3.       If we do what's right we have no need to fear, For the Lord, our helper, will ever be near; In the days of trial his Saints he will cheer, And prosper the cause of truth.

Text and music: Evan Stephens, 1854–1930

I’m also thinking of the quote from President Hinckley that I shared last Sunday in my RS lesson:

As a Church, we encourage gospel scholarship and the search to understand all truth. Fundamental to our theology is belief in individual freedom of inquiry, thought, and expression. Constructive discussion is a privilege of every Latter-day Saint. 

But it is the greater obligation of every Latter-day Saint to move forward the work of the Lord, to strengthen His kingdom on the earth, to teach faith and build testimony in that which God has brought to pass in this, the dispensation of the fulness of times. (May 2012 New Era in this month's New Era entitled,"Any Questions?" by David A Edwards)

Sometimes you just get in a funk of asking questions of yourself and feeling overwhelmed and you need help getting back in the boat and on your way and back to work. That’s what Sundays and temples and spouses and friends of the heart are all about—all working for the Father of us all. 

Thank you Sundays and temples and spouses and friends of the heart and the Father of us all! Pressing on!

~vbb

PS
Here's another quote Rob shared this morning that might also help someone else as it helped me:

“The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.”

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (1917–2008), “Come What May, andLove It,” Ensign, Nov. 2008, 28.

GREAT questions & answers

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa

If you judge someone, you answer life’s Great questions for someone else.

Nothing is more powerful in someone’s life than answering a Great question.

Which questions are yours and which belong to someone else to answer?

GREAT!

I love you!

~vbb

Real Teaching & Real Learning

I’m passionate about education, and I’m passionate about teaching. I’m passionate because I love learning, and I love teaching. Sometimes I’m even good at learning. I hate it too though. And very often I’m pretty miserable at both. But the world needs great learning and great teaching. So I must tenaciously seek to fulfill my mission in regards to education and learning. In the process I’m grateful for God’s servants to help us understand His Truth in regards to Teaching and Learning. In the October, 2011 LDS General Conference Matthew O. Richardson gave a talk entitled, Teaching after the Manner of the Spirit. The following quotes are from this talk:

 I have learned that a key to becoming real in every aspect of our lives is our ability to teach in a way that does not restrict learning. You see, a real life requires real learning, which depends on real teaching.

In another post, I admitted that I hate teaching, mostly because I’m overly sensitive to anything that even remotely smacks of non-real teaching. Overly. Enough that I simply walk away from such teaching when I should find a way to help the world have more real teaching and more real learning.

While we are all teachers, we must fully realize that it is the Holy Ghost who is the real teacher and witness of all truth. . . . As we align our manner with the Holy Ghost’s manner, then the Holy Ghost can teach and testify without restraint.

This is both frustrating and comforting. Frustrating in that we over shoot the mark with our teaching so often. Comforting to know that all we have to do is lead the horse to the water. Then we just let the Spirit do the rest.

The Holy Ghost teaches individuals in a very personal way. This makes it possible for us to intimately know truth for ourselves. . . . . Those who teach after the manner of the Spirit understand they teach people, not lessons.

What is the implication of this idea of teaching people not lessons? How do we apply that? I love this question too much to even attempt to answer it here.

The Holy Ghost teaches by inviting, prompting, encouraging, and inspiring us to act.  . . . . You see, the Holy Ghost cannot learn for us, feel for us, or act for us because this would be contrary to the doctrine of agency. He can facilitate opportunities and invite us to learn, feel, and act. . . . . Parents who mirror the workings of the Holy Ghost create homes where families learn to value rather than just learn about values. In like manner, rather than just talking about doctrines, teachers help learners understand and live gospel doctrines. The Holy Ghost is unrestrained as individuals exercise their agency appropriately.

One of the things I hate about teaching are the things teachers ask us to do. What kinds of things does the Holy Ghost invite us to do? What kinds of things do the Holy Ghost not invite us to do? Again, I hesitate to answer that really great questions. I’m pretty sure, however, that the Holy Ghost did not inspire the study guides required in my 5^th grade Social Studies class, even though I really did like my teacher, Dr Darden.

So my tenacious passion for Real Teaching must be about inviting the Holy Ghost to teach so that the Learner can act. How does the Teacher do that? What does the Teacher do?

I love great questions!!!

~vbb

"Foul. No repetition. Three - Love and game."

As much as I love it here in China, life has been pretty hard at times. We've been here about a month now, and rebuilding our lives after leaving so much behind is taking a really long time. And yes, sometimes all the stuff that I had to leave behind still haunts me.

Writing always has been a great comfort to me because of the insights I gain. Now that I have more space mentally, emotionally, and physically, I hope to do more writing. The previous post, composed almost entirely of questions, reminds me of my college experience learning about the value of asking a lot of questions. Early in my college years I watched the movie Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead at BYU's International Cinema. Several times during the course of the movie, Rosencrantz and Guildernstern play a game of questions:

Guildenstern: Whose serve?
Rosencrantz: Err...
Guildenstern: Hesitation! Love... one.
Rosencrantz: Whose go?
Guildenstern: Why?
Rosencrantz: Why not?
Guildenstern: What for?
Rosencrantz: Foul! No synonyms! One... all.
Guildenstern: What in God's name is going on?
Rosencrantz: Foul! No rhetoric! Two... one.
Guildenstern: What does it all add up to?
Rosencrantz: Can't you guess?
Guildenstern: Were you addressing me?
Rosencrantz: Is there anyone else?
Guildenstern: Who?
Rosencrantz: How would I know?
Guildenstern: Why do you ask?
Rosencrantz: Are you serious?
Guildenstern: Was that rhetoric?
Rosencrantz: No.
Guildenstern: Statement! Two all. Game point.

---

Rosencrantz: What's the matter with you today?
Guildenstern: When?
Rosencrantz: What?
Guildenstern: Are you deaf?
Rosencrantz: Am I dead?
Guildenstern: Yes or no?
Rosencrantz: Is there a choice?
Guildenstern: Is there a God?
Rosencrantz: Foul! No non sequiturs! Three... two, one game all.
Guildenstern: What's your name?
Rosencrantz: What's yours?
Guildenstern: You first.
Rosencrantz: Statement! One... love.
Guildenstern: What's your name when you're at home?
Rosencrantz: What's yours?
Guildenstern: When I'm at home?
Rosencrantz: Is it different at home?
Guildenstern: What home?
Rosencrantz: Haven't you got one?
Guildenstern: Why do you ask?
Rosencrantz: What are you driving at?
Guildenstern: What's your name?
Rosencrantz: Repetition! Two... love. Match point.
Guildenstern: Who do you think you are?
Rosencrantz: Rhetoric! Game and match!

---

Rosencrantz: Do you want to play questions?
Guildenstern: How do you play that?
Rosencrantz: You have to ask a question.
Guildenstern: Statement. One - Love.
Rosencrantz: Cheating.
Guildenstern: How?
Rosencrantz: I haven't started yet.
Guildenstern: Statement. Two - Love.
Rosencrantz: Are you counting that?
Guildenstern: What?
Rosencrantz: Are you counting that?
Guildenstern: Foul. No repetition. Three - Love and game.
Rosencrantz: I'm not going to play if you're going to be like that.

When was the last time you asked yourself lots of questions without hesitation, repetition, rhetoric, synonyms, or statements? Did it help you to unload some of your worries, stresses, and burdens?

 

You may be surprised at what you discover. (Statement. Game and match!)

Community vs Self-Reliance

Why do we have to work sooo hard to find ways to not need other people?

Why are we afraid of someone telling us they can't help us? Why are we afraid of asking the wrong person for help? Why are we afraid of not doing enough for ourselves?

Why are we afraid of helping someone with something they might be able to do themselves? Why are we afraid of someone asking for help with something they should do themselves? Why are we afraid of someone asking for something we can't help them with?

How do we know who needs help? How do we know how to help? How do we respond to people that we really can't help?

How will we conquer these fears and uncertainties?

By deciding that building a community of people who serve each other is more important than the possibility of damaging someone's self reliance?

By taking the time and thought, to ask the question.