Friday, July 2, 2010

Through Christ the Lord

Even while we have been sensing that the Lord would soon part the Financial Red Sea before us, many of the avenues we had been pursuing in order to provide for our family have recently come to dead ends. During this time, Rob and I have continued to ponder, to pray, to listen, and to consider every option for providing for our family. Currently, Rob has passed the initial HR screening for a job with Pinal County in Florence (AZ, not Italy ;), which is about an hour commute from here. We are now waiting to find out if he'll get an interview there.

While waiting, I began considering the idea of ME looking for a job. NO FUN!!! Quite mind blowing and mind boggling to say the least. And heart wrenching too to think of leaving my children, particularly Merisa, in order to punch a time clock somewhere. Not to mention the whole scary process of 'selling myself' to potential employers by updating my resume and then hitting the pavement to find something, especially considering the present economy.

However, as I thought about looking for a job and then discussed it with various people, I gained some incredible insights. Immediately I gained a better appreciation for those mothers, of all walks of life, who face that choice with courage and willingly put their shoulders to the wheel, in all sorts of jobs, to provide the basic necessities for their families. I'm not entirely sure how God wants me to assist in the family finances, but for now I'm gratefully not sensing that I will need to leave the home for work. With that in mind I also considered how I might serve my community in the future, and I began to look for opportunities that would assist me in using my Gifts in order to serve others.

So, while searching for a job on the Craig's list, I found a great job opportunity as an Online Adjunct Teaching Assistant. (Which basically means assisting in online classes, specifically with writing.) It seems like such a great opportunity that, frankly, I'm wondering if it's even for real. I took a few days to write the required essay and then applied. I've posted the essay that I wrote on this blog. Mostly, I just thought of some of the papers that some of the ladies wrote in HAPE Group (I won't tell who!! ;), recreated their style, and then I commented on it. Weird, but fun. The resume I resurrected from a job that I had applied for in Colorado. It was amazing how well it suited this position. There was very little to update, for which I was very grateful. (How ELSE would I have remembered all the dates and info from the various jobs I had had before motherhood???)

We also had a great visit with our Bishop this last Sunday. I think I had somehow got it into my mind that help from the Church would expire like unemployment, or that because we have needed help for so long that somehow we weren't worthy of more help. Anticipating the appointment surely gave me insight into those that suffer with burdens of sin. I love how God uses His servants to show us how much He cares for us even when our best efforts fail to produce the results we seek. And I went to bed with my burdens lifted. They weren't gone, but they were undoubtedly lifted.

So we've had a lot of stress waiting to hear from Florence on the Pinal County job. Can I just ship Rob away for a few weeks so I don't have to wonder at every phone call or email he gets?????? Today I felt impressed to read Mosiah 16:15: "Teach them that redemption cometh through Christ the Lord, who is the very Eternal Father. Amen." As I read it I had the distinct impression that Financial redemption also comes through the Savior. Wow, so comforting . . . I pay that this additional understanding will ease the financial panic attacks I get so regularly in the middle of the night. And hopefully it will bring me more awake peace in this time of waiting. Truth is freedom, but sometimes it just doesn't come until after the trial of our Faith.

We also got a call from our Relief Society President this week. Someone was giving away a queen size bed. Not new, but it's a pillow top and doesn't have the hump in the middle like our cheap mattress did. And we're enjoying it. Another blessing that should also help the night attacks. No, the assistance from others hasn't expired. =] And as much as we can, we are striving to be on the other end of the giving to help others feel salvation through Christ the Lord.

1 comment:

Celeste B. said...

I wish you all the best! I know what it is like to need to help in family finances. I am trying to get on with the local school district as a substitute teacher one or two days a week. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, trials, and tribulations. I learn so much from you.