Remembering, then Realigning

He taught them to keep the commandments of God, that they might rejoice and be filled with love towards God and all men Mosiah 2 : 4

And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God.  For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual Mosiah 2:41

Could I really ‘rejoice and be filled with love towards God and all men’? Where is that ‘happy state’ when all I feel is a deep and incredible emotional ache not unlike and partly due to intense physical exhaustion brought on by a multitude of stresses? I had sought earnestly to keep the commandments. Why was my heart so empty? How could I fulfill my duties as a mother and a daughter of God when such a great pain in my heart swamped me at every turn? Knowing that the Lord loved me and wanted to help me with the pain, I pleaded for understanding. Then I remembered Paul.

Paul tells us that “Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law” (Galations 3:13). What is the curse of the law? Certainly “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Additionally, however, the law only has “a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image” and can never make us perfect (Hebrews 10:1). Reading that “Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth” and that “love is the fulfilling of the law”, finally brought me peace (Romans 10:4 & 13:10).

My painful sense of quiet desperation had come on so subtly that I didn’t even understand what it was or where it was coming from until I sought for the peace promised me. Then, as I followed the Lord’s inspirations, I learned not only the solution to my pain, but also the source of that pain. The Law was all of the things I wanted to do, things that I wanted to do because of my desire to keep His commandments and serve His children. Christ and His love are the solutions to the curse of that law, and this Real Goal of seeking these gives us the ‘very image’ of things to come, despite and along with the realities of our daily challenges.

I’ve felt the peace confirming the truth of this personal inspiration and guidance. NOW I need to take stock of how my life and goals are aligned and then alter them accordingly. . . . Maybe sometime when I’m not quite so tired? (Kids, watch out for the lightening! It should be striking the house any minute. :} )