Kindle Journal ~ 8/20/11

Here's a peak into my mental health today. I share it not in seeking for help. I share it only to give others a picture of what my life is like right now.

Whew! Order and space and function!

• I have a clock with hands that gives order to my time and not just a phone with digits that gives me input. 
• I have a laundry room in a bathroom instead of a bathroom with a washing machine in it.
• I have laundry drying on racks instead of clothes hanging around drying.
• I have a kitchen rug at the sink instead of a towel in front of the sink.
• I have towels hanging on hooks and repaired racks instead of towels and broken towel racks lying around the bathrooms.
• I have cans instead of piles waiting to be taken to the kitchen trash.
• I have scriptures in a central location and a TV that`s less so.

Hmmmm, chaos and opportunities for more order, Faith, and effectiveness . . .

• I still have piles of books and school supplies and Sunday clothes that need a place to call home.
• I have appliances with no English or Romanized characters or means for interpreting and understanding how to use them other than trial and error.
• I am almost completely illiterate and incapable of communicating with anyone outside of my home. I do not even know where to start in making a plan for improvement.
• I have no reliable, independent means of transportation other than my feet.
• I have a generous, giving, and happy heart with those outside my home. I have a guilt clouded, impatient heart with my children.
• I spend a lot of time thinking about what my kids are doing and not enough time thinking about what they are becoming.