Honestly, now that I've spent a fair amount of time crying about the email Rob received from VA telling him they weren’t going to hire him, I've decided that I'm not ready to give up on the job yet.
Is that crazy? Actually, I don't care what you think (though you are welcome to share your thoughts, I suppose ;).
I have felt so much peace about it along the way and so much direction, why should I loose faith in that? (Of course, I'm praying very sincerely and humbly that the Lord will tell me if I really am crazy, and I really am trying to hear His answer.) It’s been a rough week with lots of confusing feelings about the job. But over and over in my journal I have spoken about the peace I felt concerning Rob getting this job. So much of what we’ve experienced during the last two years points directly to this job. I really believe that this job is different from all of the jobs we haven’t gotten.
But is the Virginia job just what I want and not what the Lord wants?
Do I want to live 3+ hours from a temple? No. Do I want to leave the close knit (physically & friendship-wise) Ward we live in here? No. Do I want to leave the home schooling community, friends, and opportunities we have in Arizona? No. Do I want to move to a state that requires yearly testing of homeschoolers and more restrictions on immunizations? No. Do I want to live 30 hours driving time from my parents who are both late in their twilight years? No. . . . No! Do I want to leave the rest of my family here in Valley? No. And the list could go on and on.
It’s really about trusting that God has been directing Rob and I during these last two years to get the experience we need for the job he wants us to have. And trusting the peace He has sent us.
All week long I've been praying that Valley Landscaping would feel peace in their decision. The Lord has told me: "Fear not, for thou shalt not be ashamed; neither be thou confounded, for thou shalt not be put to shame; for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more." (3 Nephi 22:4 & Isaiah 54:4).
This morning I began wondering why the Lord is having us wait, and I think He wants us to have confidence in the inspirations we have felt. I really do.
Rob sent them a very nice email this afternoon leaving the door open for an offer, I believe.
So folks, as for me, I'm calling for a RECOUNT!!!
And praying for a miracle.
(Aaaaah, I feel so crazy! But I must believe!)