Saturday, October 2, 2010

Tower Construction

A few months ago my dear friend Keelee M shared this quote with me (via text, if you can believe it!) from Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson. “Every homeschooling mom needs to have a like-minded friend to help protect her against the lies of the enemy (hope this makes sense without knowing the list of lies). By like-minded, I mean someone who home schools for the same reasons. ... if you're around someone whose chief purpose is to provide quality academics, which isn't your chief purpose, you're probably going to come away feeling discouraged. Why? Because your goals are different which means your daily methods are different as well as how you measure success. ... If you don't have a like-minded friend, ...You will always be questioning your goals and methods. ... if you have a friendship with a homeschooling mom who home schools for the same reasons you do, you'll be able to be with non like-minded friends and stand tall.“ At the end she says, “Verena, thank you for being my like-minded friend. ~Keelee”

This past few weeks I’ve felt the meaning of this quote keenly. This Fall our family activities shuffled around quite a bit, taking on some activities and saying no to others as we focused our priorities on what was most important for our family during this season of our lives. Gratefully, we have made friends with some new and wonderful families. As a mom I have rejoiced to find moms who are like-minded, home schooling for the same reasons, and therefore with the same methods, as I do. I am grateful God directed us together. They truly inspire me. (wait for it . . .) But the connections have been made primarily outside of TJEd community that we had, for many years, immersed ourselves within. It’s been fun, and I see SO many of the TJEd principles being applied within the homes of our new found friends. Yesterday, however, I really began to feel the effects of the shift of associations to those outside of the TJEd community.

Oliver & Rachel DeMille explain the purpose of adulthood as follows, “Leadership Education demands of the adult two new things, not just one. He is required to build two towers. This will take everything he has to give, and will push him to his limits. The two towers that he is to build are a family and an organization (as entrepreneur or intrapeneur)” (Leadership Education, 253). So while I have thoroughly enjoyed sharing with my new friends as we worked together to build our ‘family’ tower, our focus has been almost exclusively on this first pillar. I sincerely sense the lack of quality companionship as I build my second tower. I look forward to this new challenge to re-build the community that will assist my second tower construction.

Tell me about your like-minded friends and how they are helping you build your two towers!

7 comments:

Celeste B. said...

Almost all of our associations for the past year have been with non-TJED families since we do not live near any. One thing that is lacking for us is an understanding that we do not use "curriculum" per se, we use classics not textbooks. My children have often been judged for NOT using Saxon or ABeka or Sonlight (etc.). With older children, this becomes a competition between who has accomplished the most curriculum. I even hear mothers saying, "Well, my son is in Saxon Algebra already and he is 12." This sometimes makes mothers leave feeing like they failed at home education and maybe their kids are better off back in public school. With TJED families, they understand that all children work at their own pace, in their own time, and with their own specific outline of classics.

I do not have any local like-minded friends. I think there are a couple that might become so, which is what we hope for. My two towers have shifted as I returned to work. My original 2nd tower was the LDS home educating community of Arizona. Now, it is simply to build some peer relationships for my children through a TJED Teens Club. My focus has narrowed into what our immediate needs are. This will hopefully help to build a larger TJED community where we live over time (which is the next phase of my 2nd tower).

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing!! It's amazing how our lives go through such seasons.

Alice said...

Can you expound on the second tower? Not exactly sure what is meant by organization, entrepeneurship, etc. I'm interested in learning what this is!

Anonymous said...

You will probably need to read the whole book (Leadership Education) or another article is "Steel to Gold" by Rachel DeMille (which I can forward to you). Basically, it's whatever you do to have an impact on your society and future generations, your Callings to Serve. For some it's a business, others a charity, etc.

Becky said...

Just wanted you to know I stumbled across your profile at mormon.org and it motivated me to make progress on mine. Have fun mentoring your children today!

Ranee said...

How I LOVE seasons in life! Homeschooling has allowed life to ebb and flow naturally, for our family, and has given us wonderful seasons of learning! Verena, your example to me, is one of strength and courage! I absolutely understand the need for a like-minded friend. When I think about it, I have LOTS of friends, through the various avenues one can have a friend, but I don't have one close friend in particular, who is even homeschooling, let alone homeschooling using leadership education principles. How I wish that we could live in communities with one another, instead of just having our wonderful online community. It would be wonderful, and yet, we would miss the opportunity to share the joy of LE with those who don't know about it. It is hard to talk to people, though, at church or even in our extended families, who just look at us like we are crazy and don't "get it." How I want to share more with them! I am excited to learn from you, through this new journey of establishing a mentoring program and a place to share our writings. I am honored to call you my friend.

Keelee said...

Okay so I'm REALLY behind!! Wish that was a new state however ...

Like you, I am in a new season. Stepping out of 5 Pillars and the AZ TJEd community as we anticipated our relocation was one season. Living life AFTER relocation is another new season.

As we anticipated our move I imagined connecting with or building a new TJEd community here in Newport. HOWEVER, that has not happened and I'm not sure it's supposed to. Additionally, my focus has changed from home and family to community. Before our move, I wanted to build connections within the family/home framework, now I long to connect my family to our community of 2,300. I long to be part of, and my family to be part of the solution to our communities many needs. It's a real mind shift. In many ways my world is expanding even though the surrounding population has decreased dramatically.

With this new season, my like-minded friends have shifted from the TJEd community into those involved in social service. At first I felt such a lack of TJEd friends and support but as my focus shifted, I found that Mitch is an awesome like-minded friend when it comes to education. He is incredibally supportive and often reminds me of our goals, helping me let go of real or imagined pressure. I'm so thankful for him.

I would love to have a LOCAL like-minded educational friend but that may not happen. I think this new season is one of laying groundwork for that second tower. Our family tower still requires lots of time and effort but there's another picture and dream -- a second picture and dream -- forming in my heart -- the other one for which I was created.